The Reasons Why Team 7 Gets All The Lame Missions
by WritingTablet
Summary: It’s not because they do it the best or the fastest, it’s not because of any special talents they may posses -- Team-centric.


It's not because they do it the best or the fastest, it's not because of any special talents they may possess, the reason they get handed - over and over again, time after time - these simple, boring and repetitive tasks is because they're the ones that can complete it without causing mental or physical pain to their employers.

--

**_For example, _**

**Mission:** Pick out all the weeds in garden.

--

**Team 8**

**Problem #1:**Kiba and Akamaru tend to get a little excited and rip out not only the weeds but also, the grass, the soil and one time that small tree that was growing in the park – only once though mind you.

**Problem #2:** Some of Shino's bugs feed off weeds and have a tendency to get over protective of them and will attack anyone who tries to rip them out of the soil.

**Problem #3:**Hinata does it right, has no problems but some days, she gets a little sick of her eyes watering, sneezing every five seconds and fainting - more than the usual amount she does around Naruto - from being light headed. Stupid allergies.

**Result:** A lot of mental strain on the people who have to go and grow everything from scratch.

**Solution: **Team 8 doesn't do those missions anymore.

--

**Team 10**

**Problem #1: **Ino would pick the weeds out of the garden - honest she would – after all, she does work in a flower shop and her parents are gardeners, but you see, 'I just got my nails done because Sasuke has to see me in tip-top shape, and - _Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke_'.

**Problem #2: **Shikamaru. That's all, Shikamaru. If you know the kid, you'd know that he doesn't do anything unless it's a life-or-death situation, and even then, he looks like he'd rather be napping or watching the clouds.

**Problem #3: **Chouji doesn't know how to garden, it wasn't something he was taught as a child, and therefore, leaving him to go at it alone – well, it's not something Asuma-sensei wants to try again. After all, how can you tell your employer that he didn't know the plant life wasn't food?

**Result: **A lot of mental strain and frustration on the people who have to go out and do it for themselves.

**Solution: **Team 10 doesn't do those missions either.

--

**Team Gai**

**Problem #1 and 2: **Lee, youthful Lee, youthful Lee being watched by Gai-sensei, youthful Lee being watched by Gai-sensei challenging Neji to a game battle of whoever-weeds-out-the-most-weeds-wins.

Neji accepting the challenge, and then silently watching as Lee weeds not only the weeds, but every other thing stuck in the ground.

**Problem #3: **Tenten, never one to do nothing on a mission, will grab all the weapons on her person and use them to remove the weeds. And the plants. And the garden gnome. And the fence. And any unsuspecting people standing on the yard at that time.

Poor Gai-sensei.

**Result:** A lot of mental strain, physical strain and frustration on the people who wind up in the hospital for a few days – sometimes weeks.

**Solution:**Team Gai doesn't even get reminded of those missions, afraid that they'll get caught in excitement (well 2 out of four of them) and promptly find a yard to spend the nest hour challenging each other to a rematch of whoever-weeds-out-the-most-weeds-wins.

--

**_Next, _**

**Mission: **House chores; washing dishes, vacuuming floors, watching kids.

--

**Team 8**

**Problem #1: **Kiba doesn't know how to wash dishes - in the Inuzuka clan they either eat with their hands or paper plates and plastic cutlery. Kiba also didn't know what a vacuum was until Kurenai-sensei turned one on and Akamaru jumped on top of a bookshelf and Kiba stabbed it with a kunai in self defense. Although Kiba _is _good with kids – since in his clan there are plenty of Inuzuka offsprings running around that he sometimes has to take care of them – these kids tend to be afraid of his red marked face and aren't used to his methods of entertainment – rough housing until they're so tired they fall asleep on their feet.

**Problem #2: **Shino also doesn't know how to wash dishes since the Aburame clan doesn't eat very much and therefore, don't need dishes. Shino does know how to use the vacuum cleaner since it's something Shino used to play with as a kid – don't laugh at him, Aburame don't normally 'play' and how else do you think Shino came up with such a good and effective tactic to kick Zaku's ass in the Chunnin exams? Shino doesn't know how to entertain kids, he could give them a vacuum, but he judged from Hinata and Kiba's looks that vacuums aren't _normal_ toys.

**Problem #3:**Hinata _does _know how to do the dishes since she's always busied herself in the kitchen, making food and tea for her father and friends and as in Hinata's nature, doesn't like to make people clean up after herself, so she cleans her own messy dishes. Hinata doesn't know how to use a vacuum, the Hyuuga compound is _always _clean and in the case of kids, she doesn't go too close, afraid that she might hurt them in some way, since kids are probably the one thing in the world that look more fragile than Hinata.

**Result: **The dishes get done, and well, that's about the only good result. The vacuum somehow ends up broken with bugs flying around and the kids, they sit in one place and sob and poop and scream and cry and pee and shriek and and… yeah.

**Solution: **Team 8 doesn't do civilian house calls.

--

**Team 10**

**Problem #1: **Ino doesn't _do _dishes, never has and probably never will. She doesn't vacuum either. Ino does however know children, 'I can't play with them, these are new clothes and they'll rip out my earrings, after all _children need to stay away from small objects'_. Oh yeah, she knows them real well.

**Problem #2: **Shikamaru. Once again, Shikamaru doesn't do anything that involves manual labor.

**Problem #3: **When Chouji enters a home, he usually heads straight for the fridge and doesn't tear himself away until the only things left are empty jars and cartons of what were once the household's food supply.

**Result:**NOTHING gets done and Asuma has to pay for the lost food.

**Solution: **Team 10 doesn't go anywhere within a 10 meter radius of a civilian house.

--

**Team Gai**

**Problem #1 and 2:**Neji doesn't like house chores, he gets enough of them at home, and so Neji usually tricks Lee into doing the dishes and vacuuming. (Both Lee and Neji stay faaar away from children, Neji usually hates them and Lee doesn't know what to do with them) Lee then destroys half the house while _trying to turn on the vacuum _or _trying to find the dish soap_.

**Problem #3: **Tenten doesn't go near the dishes or the vacuum, she refuses to be compared to a common woman and do insulting things like house chores. She does take a stab at watching kids though (even though she's just like Lee and has no clue what to do with them being an only child and parent less, but she sticks it out because she doesn't not want to do anything). Sadly, the kids usual cower in fear from her because of her 'sharp and sparkly toys' that cut their fingers and hurt when they try to play with them.

**Result: **A half standing house and hurt children

**Solution: **Team Gai isn't welcome in civilian houses.

--

**_Next, _**

**Mission: **Rescue Tora the cat.

--

**Team 8**

**Problem #1:**Kiba. _Inuzuka _Kiba. Kiba and Akamaru_._Kiba and _Akamaru. The DOG. _

Cat and dog equals a big no-no.

**Problem #2: **Shino. _Aburame _Shino. Shino and his body's guest. Shino and _his body's guests. The BUGS._

Cat and fleas equals a big no-no.

**Problem #3: **Hinata doesn't have any problems with cats; she has wanted one for her entire life. Thing is, Hinata doesn't know how to catch one and has never been near enough one to have known that they bite and scratch. A lot.

**Result: **Cat ends up scared to death, covered in fleas and blood.

**Solution: **Team 8 and Tora the cat a big no-no.

--

**Team 10**

**Problem #1: **Ino likes this mission, it involves actual entertainment and something she'd forgo her appearance for so she can finally have_ something entertaining_ _to do._

That gets ruined when she has to enter the cats mind and sees images of the cats owner and how…attached she is to this cat. It sends shivers down her spine for a long time.

**Problem #2: **Shikamaru. Not the same as before, because this time Ino _wants _to do it, so Shikamaru gets forced off his lazy ass.

He creates a plan, and ends up binding it with his shadow. Simple, right? Well, there is the small matter of the cat getting traumatized but Shikamaru doesn't stay awake long enough to hear the lecture.

**Problem #3: **Chouji's part in the plan is to grab the cat with his jumbo sized hands when Shikamaru has it trapped and Ino's inside the cats mind.

He captures it one second before Ino enters its mind and the cat ends up traumatized and Shikamaru gets in trouble. Or well, he gets scolded but it doesn't matter because he doesn't pay attention.

**Result: **Tora spends a lot of time jumping at its shadow before escaping again.

**Solution: **Although the results are in the favour of the ninja, the owner hates them for what they've done and refuses to have them take the mission again. They don't chase after cats anymore.

--

**Team Gai**

**Problem #1: **Lee gets so excited at the prospect of being able to show off his speed that three second after Neji locates the cat, he's got it in his grasp deathly still with shock, once again, traumatized.

**Problem #2: **The next time they do the mission the cat strikes back at them by jumping out at them from a tree and Neji Jyuuken's the poor cat to a near death state before realising that _it's just a cat._

**Problem #3: **Tenten, given free reign the third time around, ends up giving the cat a haircut while caging it within hastily thrown kunai and other weapons.

**Result: **The cat ends up worse off than ever, leaving their pay slightly smaller than was expected.

**Solution: **Although they do it the fastest, they cause the most amount of traumatisation and the Hokage can't risk the amount of rage and other stuff he'd get stuck with sending their Team again.

--

So, even though other teams do it faster, and with more precision, Team 7 is the only team that can take on genin missions and not screw them up – that badly.

--

'NARUTO!!'

'Sakura-chan, it wasn't my fault!'

'Then who's fault was it?!'

'Sasuke-teme's!'

'Hn, shut up.'

'AHA, you admit it by trying to make me shut up!'

'Hn, dobe.'

'SASUKE!!'

'NARUTO, STOP FIGHTING WITH SASUKE'

'THEN MAKE HIM STOP BEING A TEME!'

'Hn.'

--

In the end though screaming and fighting with _each other _is much better then leaving the mission half finished or doing nothing at all about it, or destroying the village and turning it half crazed with traumatisation. Yeah, yelling is a _**much**_ better result and therefore, a much better solution.


End file.
